OFficial evobiographer: BErnice
COsworth | 1995 |
THe
story of the CRiMiNALS of EVØLU†iØN begins
with the fuzzywuzzy balladeering of BEe
BOp, a depressive, chubby, charmless zero from Kingston, London.
AFter playing guitar in a bunch of despicable heavy metal bands with
silly names
he gave up six-strings and settled on four phat ones. AS
a bassist he set about looking for other like minded idiots who could
compliment the unusual and conflicting elements of raw punk metal,
tekno-rave, nastie hip-hop and sublime jazz.
OBviously
it would take some time to build up a nuclear family of globe-threatening
cyberpunx so the very first concerts were solo efforts in one-room
shit-holes in BRighton (south coast UK). DUring his debut performance,
after receiving the dubious applause of an inebriated crowd BEeb
replied "Don't
patronise me." before trying his level best
to turn their
eardrums inside-out. THe rot had already set in.
MY
favourite song from this period was called SO
GUtted but many of the songs performed then became the catalysts
of later choons such as CHanctonbury RIng, LIke
a JUggernaut or ZIppadeefuckingdoodah.
THe BOy from BRighton PIer, a twangy semi-acoustic number from this
period, remains a staple of the C of E diet and often rears its not-so-ugly
head.